Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
An activist was arrest for feeding illicit drugs to waterfowl down at the shoreline. As he being dragged away he vowed to leave no tern unstoned
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
Excellent!
Floorist
The Almighty
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
Floorist
The Almighty
DYI
Bulding from scrap lumber.
1. Select a board the right width and thickness.
2. Step over the dog.
3. Measure, mark and saw the board....
4. Step over the dog.
5. Position and attach board with nails or screws.
6. Step over the dog.
Repeat steps 1 through 6 until project is finished.
Bulding from scrap lumber.
1. Select a board the right width and thickness.
2. Step over the dog.
3. Measure, mark and saw the board....
4. Step over the dog.
5. Position and attach board with nails or screws.
6. Step over the dog.
Repeat steps 1 through 6 until project is finished.
Floorist
The Almighty
I think the expression “It’s a small world” is really a euphemism for
“I keep running into people I can’t stand.”
“I keep running into people I can’t stand.”
Floorist
The Almighty
Got so hot in Arizona, the cars melted.
That reminds me Houston also.
Good things there weren't any cops wearing Glocks!
oldognewtrick
In memory of
All funny and very real. [emoji1303][emoji1303]
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Bet you didn't know that today is National Bring Your Lama To Work Day.
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