This spooks me. With Grandpa and Dad both getting to that 'Anything can happen at any moment' age, this is something I worry about.My dad had a major stroke on mother's day. He is fairly lucid but will never walk again. He was basically taking care of everything for my mom because she has serious memory issues. She's okay at basics like getting dressed, personal hygiene, cleaning up and gardening, but apart from that she is a lost cause.
On Monday. I finally manged to get my dad transferred from the Montreal Neurological Institute to a comfort care facility just up the street from my house. No more daily 2 hour drives into downtown with my mom to visit the old goat. An added bonus is that one of my sons works there, so dad sees his grandson more now than ever before. With that challenge behind me, the next one is to get my mom to leave the house and move in with him, but there's little choice. She needs to be fed, reminded to eat and basically guided with almost everything and my wife and I alone can't do it.
The two room suite I'm leasing for them costs a bit over $10K cdn per month, but it's a pretty posh place with great and caring employees that cater to ever whim. They have excellent food and a nice dining room, and I've started easing my mom into to place by picking her up just before lunch to visit dad while I go back to work for the afternoon, so she has been having lunch and dinner there for the last few days and it seems to be growing on her. She always did like being treated like a queen.
Because it's a private facility, I also had to supply the medical equipment for my dad like a hospital bed, geriatric chair, lift chair, hoist etc which let me tell you doesn't come cheap. Good thing they both had a living will which grants me power of attorney over their estate, else we'd be screwed.
That is hugely important. Do it now even if it's unpleasant or meets with resistance....We are talking about wills, power of atty, medical advanced directives, etc....