Joke time....

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  1. She picked a restaurant in 5 seconds: No woman can accomplish this feat.
  2. She ordered a ribeye and a Guinness: Nice order… SIR.
  3. She works as the U.S. Assistant Secretary of Health: Oh no! Your date is Admiral Rachel Levine!
  4. She just wants to chill, smoke cigars, and name obscure running backs: Enjoying a Padrón and throwing out names like "Tim Biakabutuka" isn't any woman's idea of a good time.
  5. Her chest is hairier than yours: You can tell even though she isn't wearing a low-cut blouse because it's sticking out the neck hole.
  6. She won a gold medal in the men's decathlon at the 1976 Olympics: As impressive as this accomplishment is, that ain't no lady.
  7. She tries to seduce you by burping the alphabet: Any woman would score major points with this, but everyone knows that isn't going to happen.
  8. She says she has a doctor's appointment on Thursday for a prostate exam: We're not biologists, but we're fairly certain women don't have prostates.
  9. She can watch a movie without asking any questions about the plot: Only a man can follow the plot of a movie that well.
  10. She's currently peeing at the urinal next to you: RUN!

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Ole and Lena took a monkey in to live with
them. A neighbor stopped in and took a look
at their new pet. "Yah, he even eats at the
table vid us," said Ole. "And at night he
sleeps in da bed between me and Lena.,,'The
neighbor looked somewhat astonished and inquired,
"But what about the smell?" "Veil "
said Ole, "he'll have to get used to it yust lik~ I
did."
 
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