Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
oldognewtrick
In memory of
I don’t understand… Why doesn’t Walmart just declare their stores “Theft-Free Zones” and end their shoplifting problem?
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face ...
Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Just a couple of minutes ago...'
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face ...
Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Just a couple of minutes ago...'
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Confucius for Adults:
OK to let a fool kiss you, but not OK to let a kiss fool you.
Kiss is merely shopping upstairs for real merchandise downstairs.
Better to lose a lover than love a loser.
Man with broken condom often called Daddy.
Drunken man's words often sober man's thoughts.
Marriage is same as bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Viagra just like Disneyland ......One hour wait for 2-minute ride..
Joke is just like sex. Neither any good if you don't get it.
Virginity like bubble on stream of life, one prick, and it's gone forever.
Man who eat many prunes, get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it..
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Man who leaps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.
A Lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!
OK to let a fool kiss you, but not OK to let a kiss fool you.
Kiss is merely shopping upstairs for real merchandise downstairs.
Better to lose a lover than love a loser.
Man with broken condom often called Daddy.
Drunken man's words often sober man's thoughts.
Marriage is same as bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Viagra just like Disneyland ......One hour wait for 2-minute ride..
Joke is just like sex. Neither any good if you don't get it.
Virginity like bubble on stream of life, one prick, and it's gone forever.
Man who eat many prunes, get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it..
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Man who leaps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.
A Lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
When I was a kid, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” just after a swear word…
I’ll never forget my first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.
I’ll never forget my first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
This has got to be a joke?
Facebook
Teen Masturbated 56 Times Straight Before Dying of Heart Attack
PORTLAND – Teenager allegedly masturbated a jaw-dropping 56 times non-stop before dying of a heart attack, in the proccess even breaking the world record and was awarded a world record certificate by a Guinness representative who later arrived at the home.
Jerome Carpenter was found dead in his bedroom after apparently masturbating too much. It is speculated that Jerome was suffering from depression due to being “extremely lonely”. Jerome’s Mother called Portland police after discovering his corpse in his room. Jerome’s mother told Huzlers reporters “1 hour passed since I had called him down for lunch, Jerome was the kind of boy to steal food off your plate when you were not looking, i knew something was wrong when he didn’t come down to eat, he was a great kid” she finished as she began to cry.
Police arrived at the home about an hour after Ms. Carpenter called them. Officer Dean Marrow told Huzler reporters what they saw when they opened Jerome’s bedroom door. “The young man was on his bed… his pen*s was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic”.
Investigators are still investigating the case for more information, Jerome’s funeral will take place sometime next week.
Teen Masturbated 56 Times Straight Before Dying of Heart Attack
PORTLAND – Teenager allegedly masturbated a jaw-dropping 56 times non-stop before dying of a heart attack, in the proccess even breaking the world record and was awarded a world record certificate by a Guinness representative who later arrived at the home.
Jerome Carpenter was found dead in his bedroom after apparently masturbating too much. It is speculated that Jerome was suffering from depression due to being “extremely lonely”. Jerome’s Mother called Portland police after discovering his corpse in his room. Jerome’s mother told Huzlers reporters “1 hour passed since I had called him down for lunch, Jerome was the kind of boy to steal food off your plate when you were not looking, i knew something was wrong when he didn’t come down to eat, he was a great kid” she finished as she began to cry.
Police arrived at the home about an hour after Ms. Carpenter called them. Officer Dean Marrow told Huzler reporters what they saw when they opened Jerome’s bedroom door. “The young man was on his bed… his pen*s was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic”.
Investigators are still investigating the case for more information, Jerome’s funeral will take place sometime next week.
This has got to be a joke?
Teen Masturbated 56 Times Straight Before Dying of Heart Attack
PORTLAND – Teenager allegedly masturbated a jaw-dropping 56 times non-stop before dying of a heart attack, in the proccess even breaking the world record and was awarded a world record certificate by a Guinness representative who later arrived at the home.
Jerome Carpenter was found dead in his bedroom after apparently masturbating too much. It is speculated that Jerome was suffering from depression due to being “extremely lonely”. Jerome’s Mother called Portland police after discovering his corpse in his room. Jerome’s mother told Huzlers reporters “1 hour passed since I had called him down for lunch, Jerome was the kind of boy to steal food off your plate when you were not looking, i knew something was wrong when he didn’t come down to eat, he was a great kid” she finished as she began to cry.
Police arrived at the home about an hour after Ms. Carpenter called them. Officer Dean Marrow told Huzler reporters what they saw when they opened Jerome’s bedroom door. “The young man was on his bed… his pen*s was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic”.
Investigators are still investigating the case for more information, Jerome’s funeral will take place sometime next week.
Has to be.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Uh...well... I got nothing...
How did they know how many times?? LOL this looks like April’s fool thing.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Unless they found a pile of 56 used Kleenex...
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Democrats today are saying no one, not even the President, is above the law.
So, my question is, how come illegals are?
I’ll wait…
So, my question is, how come illegals are?
I’ll wait…
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