Joke time....

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by Birddogyz, Jun 10, 2016.

  1. jgeraldini

    jgeraldini Active Member

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    [​IMG]

    “Soldier John!!”
    “Yes Sir!”
    “I haven’t seen you on the camouflage training...!”
    “Thank you Sir!!”
     
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  2. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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  3. Chris

    Chris Administrator

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  4. Floorist

    Floorist Dog furniture

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  5. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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  6. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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  7. Chris

    Chris Administrator

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  8. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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  9. havasu

    havasu Administrator

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  10. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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  11. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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    Funny how a person has to cover up their gun in Walmart but not their ass.
     
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  12. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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  13. Floorist

    Floorist Dog furniture

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    Man at a medical check-up:

    Do you do dangerous sports?

    Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife.
     
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  14. oldognewtrick

    oldognewtrick Well-Known Member

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    A friend told me about his trip out with his grandson. This is what he said. “Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 6 year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.”

    As we bowed our heads he said, “God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty, peace & justice for all. Amen!”

    Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark, “That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why — I never!”

    Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, “Did I do it wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me?”

    After I assured him that he had done a terrific job and that God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grandson and said, “I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.”

    “Really?” my grandson asked.

    “Cross my heart,” the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), “Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul.”

    Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then he did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

    With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her, “Here ma’am, this is for you, you grouchy old bitch. You must be a Democrat, shove it up your ass and piss off!”

    Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
     
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  15. Barrie

    Barrie MODERADO EL JEFE

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  16. jgeraldini

    jgeraldini Active Member

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