Joke time....

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While installing a new door, John found that one of the hinges was missing.

So, He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go.

While she was waiting for the Manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.

When the Manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"

The Manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $5,000".

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's an expensive faucet - certainly out of my price range."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that he had sent her to buy.

The Manager said that he had them in stock and it was $3.49; then he went into the backroom
to get one.

From the backroom the Manager yelled. "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."
 
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My Grandfather died at 106.
He fell off the roof of a house that he was re-roofing!

My father at 45, from a blood disease, I was in VN at the time.
 
I really need your advice on a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot.

I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, last night, about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat.

When she came home she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse; then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?
 
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