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The State of Kansas
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THE STATE OF KANSAS: NOTICE TO ALL OUT OF STATE VISITORS.
Anyone traveling to Kansas needs to be aware.
We're doing OK here right now with COVID cases. We watch in horror as the rest of the country spikes and wonder how long before it makes its way here.
So if you plan on vacationing at our rivers, lakes or on our prairies this summer, there are a few things I think you should know.
Red ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to a wetter than usual spring.
Mountain lions have eaten all domesticated animals and some smaller people.
The poison oak has overtaken all other vegetation.
We have had bear sightings at every park and town.
We have Bigfoots INVADING OUR PARKS.
Ottawa is as hot as it’s meth pipes.
Porcupines "stabbing" small children should they dare to enter the forest.
Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs.
Murder hornets!?! We’ve got tons of murder hornets.
And I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners have released them into the streets of our towns when they got out of jail and returned to their hometown.
Head lice now fly... right beside the bats.
So stay where you are, in your own province, state or county where it's safe!
Seriously, PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE... ✋🏼 🤗
and we also have NO TOILET PAPER!!
 
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