Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.
The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"
The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"
So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.
So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
"It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
"It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.
The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"
The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"
So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.
So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
"It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
"It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"
Floorist
The Almighty
Kevin - When He Grows Up
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest hooker,
give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an
Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said
and simply tries to continue with the lesson . . . .
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Kevin¹s hooker."
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest hooker,
give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an
Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said
and simply tries to continue with the lesson . . . .
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Kevin¹s hooker."
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE ADMIN OF THIS GROUP!!!
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN UNCOMPROMISING POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 12PRO MAX IN EXCHANGE FOR ONLINE SEXUAL FAVOURS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 8 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. THANK YOU!
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN UNCOMPROMISING POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 12PRO MAX IN EXCHANGE FOR ONLINE SEXUAL FAVOURS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 8 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. THANK YOU!
Sounds like an email I got from one of Rusty's friends yesterday.
Floorist
The Almighty
Golf anyone?
I'd grab my balls from her cup anyday, unless she was from California, cuz her balls would probably be bigger than mine.
Floorist
The Almighty
The wife brought home a tub of ice cream and asked if I wanted some.
"How hard is it?" I asked.
She cheekily replied, "As hard as your willie when you're thinking about me naked!"
I said, "Go on then, pour me a glass"
"How hard is it?" I asked.
She cheekily replied, "As hard as your willie when you're thinking about me naked!"
I said, "Go on then, pour me a glass"
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
2
