oldognewtrick
In memory of
We can only hope!
Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
So let me get this straight. I go to To the grocery store and buy a lb. of sliced ham wrapped in plastic, a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, a gallon of milk in a plastic jug, a pack of napkins wrapped in plastic, a Greek salad in a plastic container, a plastic bottle of mustard and a plastic bottle of ketchup, and they won't give me a plastic bag to carry it home because the plastic bag is bad for the environment?
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Yep, you get it.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Hell yeah,!
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Uh...whats the plural of Cougar?
oldognewtrick
In memory of
There's just something calming and peaceful sitting on the beach with a cold beverage enjoying nature in its finest moments.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Man, she was a looker!
oldognewtrick
In memory of
You just have to wonder about the thought process of some folks.
Floorist
The Almighty
How to tell if someone is a Republican, a Democrat, or just a Southerner.
Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? This little test will help you decide:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you…
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 chambered in .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
******************************
Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber 1911 and what does .45 ACP mean?
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior?
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!
******************************
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
******************************
Southerner’s Answer:
BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click…..
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Speer Gold Dots or Federal Premium hollow points?!”
Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”
Wife: “You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!”
Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? This little test will help you decide:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you…
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 chambered in .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
******************************
Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber 1911 and what does .45 ACP mean?
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior?
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!
******************************
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
******************************
Southerner’s Answer:
BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click…..
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Speer Gold Dots or Federal Premium hollow points?!”
Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”
Wife: “You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!”
Floorist
The Almighty
1916 Harley package delivery
I'd sell my G/F for that piece of art!
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